Witness Protection
by cuz-CM's-awesome
Summary: Penelope witnesses something she shouldn't have and now her life is in danger. The only way to protect her is to put her into Witness Protection. However the rest of the B.A.U. team thinks she's dead. How will they cope?
1. Relocation

**Disclaimer: I don't own Criminal Minds and I'm not making any money off of this story. **

**Summary: Penelope witnesses something she shouldn't have and now her life is in danger. The only way to protect her is to put her into Witness Protection. However the rest of the B.A.U. team thinks she's dead. How will they cope? **

**Please R&R **

**Enjoy! **

**...**

Penelope Garcia's life had been turned upside down in the short time span of one weekend.

It had started Friday night. Penelope had just gotten off work and she had to go to the local corner store to pick up a carton of milk.

She had walked in and noticed that the slightly deaf, older Chinese man who ran the store wasn't behind the counter. She figured that he must just be in the back and went to grab the stuff she needed while she waited for him to return.

However after she had gotten her milk and grabbed a bag of chips she found herself waiting at the counter for at least ten minutes.

Growing impatient Penelope called out "Hello" her voice rang out through the empty store. No one answered her. At this rate she could have taken her items and left and no one would have been the wiser. Yet that's not how her parents had raised her and she prided herself on always trying to do the right thing.

If she could have she would have just left the milk but she literally had none at home and the next closest convenience store was five blocks away. She didn't want to have to make that hike at this time of night.

As she was pondering what to do she heard a shuffling noise from the back of the store. She thought it must be the store owner and he probably just hadn't heard her come in.

Penelope walked over to the door to the backroom. It was slightly ajar and she could see a light shining through the crack. She carefully pushed the door open a bit more; she didn't want to startle the store owner. She was just going to call out and let him know she was there but what she saw on the other side of the door made her heart race.

The store owner was strapped to a chair, blood dripping down his face from a deep gash above his eyebrow. His nose looked broken and the rest of his face looked swollen and bruised. There were two bulky men standing behind him and one skinner man standing in front of him.

"I'm giving you one last chance" the skinnier guy whispered threateningly as he took out a gun and pointed it at the store owner's head "Tell me where they are."

The store owner looked up at the man, a tear slid down his face as he said "I would never tell you."

"Wrong answer" the skinnier guy said pulling the trigger and shooting the man in the head.

Penelope had to hold in her scream; if she hadn't worked in the FBI for six years she'd probably be a dead women at the moment, however being at the B.A.U. had taught her how to control her emotions.

She backed away from the door and quickly but quietly made her way out of the store; totally forgetting about the carton of milk and chips sitting on the counter.

When she was a good distance away she pulled out her cell phone and called the police.

They told her to wait where she was until they got there; they needed to get her witness statement.

The police got there rather fast and stormed the convenience store.

Penelope watched from a distance as she waited for one of the police officers to come and take her statement, she knew the procedure. As she waited she saw the cops bring out a man in cuffs and lead him into one of the cop cars.

Finally after what seemed like hours but was probably only twenty minutes, a police officer came up to her and started questioning her about what she had seen.

She told him everything from the moment she had stepped into the store to when she had come running back out. He listened to her and nodded as he scribbled notes on a pad of paper.

When she had told him all that she had seen, he told her that they had caught one of the men but the other two had gotten away. He said they would need her to testify against the man they had captured and pick him out of a line up in the upcoming weeks. Penelope agreed and then the officer had been nice enough to give her a ride home. Once he dropped her off he said he would be in touch.

Penelope let herself into her apartment and sighed; she had been pretty shaken up about the whole thing and was now just glad to be home.

She shook her head and made her way to her bedroom. She was tired and she wanted to get some sleep. She would deal with her milk problem the next day.

**...**

Penelope had been up for a few hours.

She had called Derek, they had plans to go out that day and she just wanted to make sure they were still on. Derek had told her that he would meet her at their favourite coffee shop in an hour. So now she was just making herself breakfast before she got ready to go out.

That's when the doorbell rang. 'Strange' she thought to herself, no one really bothered her at home, unless her old, grandmotherly neighbour needed to borrow a cup of sugar for some baking she was doing.

Penelope went to answer it but at the same time the timer for her toaster oven went off and Penelope decided to get her toast out first because her old appliance had a way of burning her food if she didn't get it out quick enough.

As she turned and began walking back to the kitchen she heard a loud bang and then she was thrown forwards into the counter. She felt a burst of immense pain and seconds later she blacked out.

**...**

When she woke up she was lying in a hospital bed and the police officer she had talked to the night before, Sergeant Baker, was sitting beside her bed.

He gave her a sad smile when he noticed she was awake, "How are you feeling?" he asked.

Penelope's brow furrowed. She felt like crap, her whole body was aching and she was confused. "Like I was hit by a train" she answered, wincing in pain when she tried to move.

"It will probably take a few days before you heal completely but really it's a miracle you survived at all" Sergeant Baker stated.

"What?" Penelope asked, she had no idea what he was talking about.

The officer sighed "Miss Garcia, I hate to have to tell you this but there was an attempt on your life."

Penelope was even more confused.

"The people who killed that man last night have found out you were witness to it and that your word can put their buddy away for a long time. They aren't too happy about that."

Penelope's stomach dropped as what he told her sank in "You mean...someone is trying to kill me?"

"Yes," Sergeant Baker replied, his tone serious "and my superiors believe that the best option is to put you into the Witness Protection Programme until we catch these men."

Penelope blanched, she couldn't believe what he had just said, she didn't want to believe it. "But I...I can't" she stuttered.

"Yes you can, it's your best option and plans are already in the making to have you relocated" he continued.

"What?" Penelope asked "What plans? What do you mean?"

"As far as anyone is concerned other than you, me and a few other special agents, there is no Penelope Garcia anymore. You died in the explosion early this morning." Sergeant Baker explained.

Penelope felt faint. She wanted to cry, she couldn't believe what was happening. She wanted to go back in time and fix everything but she couldn't; she was stuck.

**...**

Currently she was in a plane flying to Chicago to start her new life.

Her heart was breaking the whole time and there was nothing she could do about it. She felt so helpless.

Virginia was her home; her entire life was centered there. The B.A.U. team was her family but they would now think she was dead.

Officer Baker and his superiors wouldn't allow her to tell them that she was actually alive and kicking. They said no one could know.

She had argued at first but then Officer Baker had said that it could put not only her but them in danger too.

That had shut her up. She couldn't put them in danger; they already had such dangerous jobs.

When Officer Baker had put her on the plane he had told her not to worry, that they would find who tried to kill her and she would be back in no time.

Penelope hoped so but she had her doubts.

She wondered now, as she sat staring out the window, if she would ever see her home or family again.


	2. Grief

**Don't Own **

**Please R&R **

**Enjoy! **

…

Derek checked his watch for the third time in the last half an hour, and growled. Where was she? He had just talked to her, an hour ago, when he had left his apartment to make his way to the coffee shop he told her he would meet her at. She was close to forty minutes late already, and his Baby Girl was never late. Or is for some strange reason something came up that was going to make her late, she would have called to let him know.

He had tried to call her but every time he did her phone went straight to voicemail. He had a feeling something bad had happened and he just couldn't shake it.

Derek took out his phone to try her number again, but before he could dial her number his phone started to vibrate and the caller ID read 'Incoming call: Hotch.'

'Great' Derek thought in annoyance 'It's probably another case.'

"Morgan" he said as he flipped his phone open and held it to his ear.

There was silence for a second before what sounded like a sigh and then Hotch's voice was saying "Hey Morgan, it's Hotch."

"Hey," Derek said "what's up? A new case?"

Hotch seemed to take his time before he answered and Derek began to feel uneasy.

"Morgan," Hotch finally said after what felt like hours but had really only been a few seconds "there's been an incident, you need to come to Garcia's place."

Derek took a moment to let Hotch's words sink in, the uneasy feeling he had intensified. "Penelope?" he asked "What's wrong? Did something happen to her?"

"Not over the phone," Hotch said "I'll explain when you get here."

Morgan wanted to argue, he needed to know what had happened to his Baby Girl but he knew it would do no good, Hotch wouldn't give in and he'd just be wasting his time. So he muttered a quick "I'll be right over" before hanging up the phone, throwing some change on the table top to pay for the coffee he had ordered, and running out the door.

Derek hopped on his motorcycle, quickly pulled on his helmet and sped out of the parking lot of the coffee shop. Penelope's place was just twenty minutes away.

…

Derek could already tell whatever had happened had been bad and he was still a few blocks away. He could hear sirens and when he turned the corner all he could see were flashing lights from the fire trucks and police cars that were in front of the building where Penelope lived.

Derek gripped the handle bars of his motorcycle even tighter and he speed even faster down the street until he came to a screeching stop when he was only a few feet away from all the commotion.

Derek jumped off his bike, barely steadying it before throwing down his helmet and running past the crowd of people, under the police tape and towards Penelope's building.

"Sir, what are you doing? You're not authorized to go beyond this point" he heard some man call to him before a police officer was in his field of vision, trying to hold him back.

However Derek was much stronger and was being driven by fear, he was able to push the man away easily as he continued towards the building.

Then Derek saw Hotch, standing just a few feet from him with Rossi by his side. Hotch came towards him, telling the officer that had tried to stop him that Derek was authorized to be there.

Derek couldn't say anything, he had just gotten a real look at Penelope's apartment…or yet what used to be her apartment, and he was speechless.

There was a giant, gaping hole, where her door used to be and the walls around it were scorched black.

Derek felt a hand on his shoulder and whipped around to see Hotch was standing beside him, he had obviously been saying something but Derek couldn't hear anything due to the blood pounding in his ears.

Derek tried to shake himself out of it "Pen…Penelope?" he choked out.

Hotch looked sad as he shook his head.

"What?" Derek asked, panic was creeping up on him "Where's Penelope? Where is she?"

"Derek," Hotch said loudly, or at least it seemed loud to Derek "there was an explosion, Penelope didn't make it."

Derek began shaking his head "No…no that doesn't make any sense. I was just talking to her…"

Hotch shook his head and glanced to his side where Rossi was standing, they exchanged looks. "I'm sorry Derek" he said when he looked back.

Derek looked around frantically. For the first time he noticed Prentiss, Reid and JJ standing off to the side. Reid was holding Prentiss who was pressed against his chest and his eyes were red rimmed, while JJ had her head in her hands and was looking away from the building.

Derek's heart was beating a mile a minute, this couldn't be happening. He had just talked to Penelope, she couldn't be dead. They had made a mistake, there was no way she could be dead.

Without thinking his feet began moving and he was running towards the building. Penelope couldn't be dead, he had to make sure, they must have just missed her. He had just talked to her, she couldn't be dead.

"Morgan" he heard Rossi yell.

Then Hotch's voice "It's not safe to go in there, Morgan stop!"

He felt someone grab his arm but he fought it, he had to get to Penelope, he had to save his Baby Girl.

More arms were on him and he was being held back. He struggled against them but he wasn't strong enough. They held him back, pulled him away from the building, away from her.

"I have to save her," Derek said as the fight in him gave out "I need to get to her."

Derek saw Rossi move into his line of vision "She's not in there Morgan" he said, placing his hands on Derek's shoulders "she's gone."

"No," Derek said "no she can't be, it can't be true."

Rossi looked at him sadly "It is, there's nothing you can do, she's gone."

Derek felt all of his strength leave him and he slipped to the ground, Rossi's hands pulling away from his shoulders.

He fell to his knees; he placed his head in his hands and began to sob. Hot, wet tears slipped down his face and he let out a howl of rage, slamming his fist against the pavement beneath him.

He felt a hand land on his shoulder though he had no idea whose it was, he was too consumed by his grief.

…

"Let's go over it one more time."

Penelope rolled her eyes, annoyed by the Chicago detective, a man by the name of Jenkins who was in his early fifties. He had graying hair and brown eyes, and she could tell she was starting to get on his nerves too.

They were sitting in the living room of a small one-bedroom apartment. Jenkins had been waiting for Penelope on the tarmac when the jet had touched down. As soon as she was off the plane and had her things, she was ushered into a waiting car by Jenkins and then was driven to this apartment.

It was fully furnished and stocked with food and supplies that she would need. It had one bedroom, one bathroom, a small but nice kitchen, a laundry room and a living room.

It was kind of dull for Penelope's taste but she thought she could fix it up, add a little bit of color to it. She guessed it would be a good project for her; hopefully it would take her mind off things.

"This is important," Jenkins said "you need to know this stuff off by heart; you can't afford any slip ups."

Penelope rubbed her eyes with her hand "I'm sorry," she said, she knew she was being difficult "I'm just tired."

Jenkins sighed "I know this is hard for you, and I wouldn't expect you to be eager to learn this information after all you've been through. You're in a new city, missing your family and friends, having to start over even though you're wishing you could be home right now instead. I understand that, I've seen it many times before. It's hard for people to be relocated, especially when they are on their own and it will take a while to get used to but learning this information is for your own good. So you don't end up slipping up and having to go through the whole process again. My job is to keep you safe and that's what I'm trying to do."

Penelope nodded and looked to the ground with a sigh, when she looked back up she stated from memory "My name is Carrie Marks, I'm a divorcee from Washington. I moved her after I divorced my husband of six years because I wanted to get a new start. Before moving I worked as a computer support specialist for an accounting office. I never had any children, which is the main reason my husband and I spilt up, I wanted kids when he didn't."

Penelope stopped and looked over at Jenkins.

"That was better," Jenkins said "but you forgot the part about you being an only child and your parents living in Florida in a retirement home."

"Right, sorry" Penelope said.

"It's okay, but now you get what I was saying before, it's important to practice the back story. Let's go over it again."

Penelope pursed her lips but did as he said.

…

Almost thirty minutes later Penelope finally had her 'history' committed to memory and Jenkins was just about ready to leave.

"We've got you a position as a technical support specialist at a downtown marketing firm. You'll be starting work there next week. I know it's a bit of a downgrade from your FBI position…"

Penelope snorted, bitterness getting the best of her "You don't say?" she said sarcastically.

Jenkins shook his head "But it was the best we could do" he continued.

Penelope shook her head "Sure, fine" she said, she was really tired, both physically and emotionally exhausted, and she just wanted the day to be over.

Jenkins seemed to realize that, he dug into the pocket of his jacket and pulled out a cell phone "Here," he said handing it to Penelope "this has my number on speed dial; it's the only number in the address book. You should have everything that you need but if you have a question or need anything else feel free to give me a call."

Penelope nodded.

"I'll let you get settled in," Jenkins said "but I'll be back in a couple of days to check in."

"Okay" Penelope agreed.

Jenkins stood up from the couch he had been sitting on and made his way to the door, grabbing his hat from a hook by the door. Jenkins turned around when he got to the door and looked seriously at Penelope "It's important that you don't try to make contact with anyone that you know, my boss has informed me how crafty you are with technology but making contact could put not only you but your friends at risk."

Penelope sighed sadly "I understand."

Jenkins nodded and gave her a sad smile "I truly hope this is only temporary Carrie and you'll be back home after they catch whoever is after you."

Penelope was slightly caught off guard by the name change but she appreciated the sentiments, "Thanks" she said.

Jenkins nodded "Of course, remember if you need anything just call" with that he turned, opened the door and left.

Penelope watched him go.


	3. Straightforward Marketing

**Don't Own **

**Please R&R **

**Enjoy! **

…

Derek ran his hand over his head as he looked out at all the people gathered around him.

Normally he was the kind of guy that jumped head first into things, without giving them much thought. But this was different; this was hard for him especially because it meant a lot to him.

Derek had been asked to give a speech at Penelope's funeral and even though he still had trouble believing she was actually dead, he couldn't refuse because he knew if the roles had been reversed Penelope would have gotten up, handkerchief in hand, and rambled off a long thought out speech about how awesome he was. She would have probably sobbed the whole way through but she would have done it because he was her best friend.

So Derek, even though he had always been more private than Penelope, had to do it for her. It was the least he owed her.

With that thought Derek cleared his throat and looked over at the mahogany casket before he began.

"Working in a place like the BAU can be hard. All the things that we see every day can leave a person with some really dark days. But when Penelope was around, she could brighten up your day in a heartbeat. With her smile and her laugh there was no one who could make you see the beauty, the good things in the world, like she could.

I met Penelope in my first year working for the BAU. I had a question and she was the new tech. I couldn't remember her name and was incorrectly informed that it was Gomes. Of course when I called her that she didn't respond. So I tried Baby Girl instead" Derek felt choked up at the memory but he gave himself a moment and then continued on. "That got her attention. She could have been mad but she took it in stride and we laughed it off. From that day on she was my Baby Girl…my best friend.

Penelope has been a blessing in my life for the last six years. Even after the worst cases she was there for me. Lending me an ear so we could talk or stopping by with popcorn and a movie so we could just hang out.

The BAU will never be the same without Penelope. She was a light in the dark, calling us safely home. She will never be forgotten and will live in our hearts forever."

Derek looked away from the casket and his eyes found the rest of the team. They were standing in the front row, with all of their attention on him.

Both Rossi and Hotch looked sad but as expected, neither of them showed their grief. Unlike the alpha males Prentiss and JJ were openly crying, while Morgan watched as Reid discreetly wiped away a tear from his eye.

Derek turned away from them; he couldn't bare to look at them with their sadness on display. He knew if he did he would also break down.

Instead Derek turned to the priest and nodded, letting him know he was finished. Then he went to take his place beside Reid.

The priest finished the ceremony off with a prayer and then each of the people gathered lined up to place a white rose on the casket.

The team was the last to place their roses. Each moved slowly, saying their last goodbyes to Penelope as they went.

JJ, second last to Derek, placed her rose on the top of the casket with a shaky hand. She whispered to the casket that she would see her friend again some day before she wiped a tear from her cheek and followed the rest of the team who were already making their way to their cars.

Derek stopped once he was next to the coffin and just stared at the top where the mountain of roses sat. He felt tears threaten to fall but held them back, he was alone in the cemetery now but he wouldn't allow himself to cry.

"Baby Girl…" he whispered, only to stop when his voice caught. "I don't know how I'm going to live without you, I already miss you. I'll miss our movie nights on Friday, and meeting at our favorite coffee shop on the weekends. I'll miss seeing you when I get to work in the mornings and before I leave at night. I'll especially miss all of our phone conversations; you always knew how to get my blood up... Oh hell Penelope; I don't think I can live without you."

Derek took a moment to collect his thoughts. He knew he better get going, he had driven with Reid and the young genius would be waiting for him. Derek sighed and placed his rose on the coffin with the others, before he whispered in a quiet voice "You are my best friend and I swear I'll never forget you."

Finally with one last look at the coffin, he began his lonely walk to the parking lot.

…

Penelope sat on the large, expensive looking couch in the waiting room of the marketing firm. The first thought that Penelope had gotten when she walked in and told the secretary at the front desk that she was there for her first day, was that the place looked really modern. Its color scheme was filled with greys, blacks and whites. The red couch that she was sitting on added a touch of color to the room, along with some vases and such.

Penelope sat with her legs crossed and she couldn't help but pick at non-existent lint on the navy blue skirt she had decided to wear that day. She had decided to tone down her outfit from what she usually wore, even though it was very unlike her, she thought it would be best since it was her first day after all.

"Carrie Marks?"

Penelope's head shot up to see a woman with long red hair and green eyes, she was wearing a pantsuit. She smiled at Penelope.

"Uh yes," Penelope said standing up and holding out her hand.

The woman took it "My name's Angie Lucien, I'll be your supervisor here at Straightforward Marketing, it's nice to meet you."

"You too" Penelope said as she withdrew her hand.

"We've been having the worst luck trying to fill the tech position with someone who actually knows a thing about computers" Angie said with a laugh. Penelope had to stop herself from cringing as she realized Angie had one of those laughs that were really high pitched.

"Really?" Penelope asked.

"Oh yes," Angie said with a shake of her head "our last employee who worked in tech support up and quit when her and her boyfriend decided to get hitched and move to California. She only gave us a week's notice and then she was gone. It's already been close to two months since she left and many of our computers are on the fritz. So we're so glad that you're here, my boss said you came with the highest recommendations."

Penelope blushed "I do know my way around a computer" she said quietly.

"Great!" Angie said "I'll just show you to your office."

Angie led Penelope past the front desk and down the hall; turning left they came to a corridor. Gesturing to a door on the left Angie stated "That's my office, feel free to come by if you need anything."

Penelope nodded and Angie continued walking. At the end of the hall, to the right was another door that Angie pushed open and led her into "And this is your office."

Penelope looked around her, the office was about the size as her one back at Quantico, if not a little smaller. The room had a large panel window that looked out onto the street below. They were a few floors up so Penelope was left looking out at another large, gray office building. There was a desk in the middle of the room with a nice enough looking desktop computer, nothing like they had at the BAU but Penelope had been expecting that. The walls were plain and concrete looking. All in all Penelope thought the room was kind of cold and uninviting, but what could she do.

"It's nice," Penelope said trying to sound sincere as she unconsciously tugged on a brown curl, she had opted to dye her hair brown after Detective Jenkins had suggested it for security reasons.

"Well it's not much," Angie said "but you'll probably be spending most of your time around the office looking at our other computers so it wouldn't be that bad. But feel free to personalize it a bit if you want, we have nothing against the odd family photo or two."

"Thanks," Penelope said though she felt her stomach sink at Angie's words, she didn't have any photos that she could put up without giving herself away.

"Right, well, I'll give you a moment to get settled," Angie said "I already have a long list of things that we need you to take a look at, so if you could come to my office in ten minutes or so that would be great."

"Sure" Penelope said.

"Great," Angie said backing out of Penelope's office. "Oh and Carrie, we really are glad to have you on board" she said when she got to Penelope's door, before giving her a bright smile and leaving.

Penelope smiled back but the smile dropped of her face once Angie was gone. Penelope sighed, looked around the room once more before putting her bag down on the desk.

"You can do this," she told herself quietly "just be strong."

Penelope nodded to herself, straightened her blouse and readied herself for what she was sure was going to be a long day.


	4. Memories

**Don't Own **

**Please R&R **

**Enjoy! **

…

"Morgan, can I see you for a moment?"

It was Derek's first day back at work since the funeral and he had just stepped out of the elevators. He sighed and looked at Hotch who was standing by the doors to the bullpen.

Derek didn't particularly want to be back at the office just yet. He still wasn't over Penelope's death, it fact it just seemed to be getting harder, but Hotch had called him that morning, saying that the team needed him. So Derek had pulled his hungover ass out of bed and made his way to the BAU.

Derek walked over to Hotch and stopped "What?" he asked.

Hotch frowned but gestured for Derek to follow him, he led him away from the bullpen.

"Strauss called me to her office today" Hotch began and Derek got the feeling that this wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation; when Strauss was involved it never was.

"She told me that she knew our team is still having a hard time and she hated to ask but…" Hotch trailed off when he realized that Derek had stopped walking beside him, he turned back to look at the other man.

Derek was standing in the middle of the hallway, shaking his head. He had just figured out where they were headed, by the direction Hotch was leading him in, but he just wasn't ready to go there yet.

Hotch figured that out when he saw the look on Derek's face, he actually seemed panicky. "Morgan," Hotch said gently, knowing that what he was about to tell Derek needed to be said "she's asked me to clean out Garcia's office. They've already started looking for a new tech to fill the position and she wants the office cleaned out by the end of the week."

Derek was still shaking his head. He stood stalk still as anger coursed through him, he couldn't believe that they were already looking for a replacement for Penelope.

"I was going to clean it out myself but then I thought I'd ask you first. Normally we'd have a family member come in to do it but since Garcia didn't have any family in Virginia, I thought you might like the opportunity."

Derek felt like punching something but instead he made himself move. Stalking past Hotch he growled "I'll do it."

Derek walked quickly away from the unit chief, not trusting himself to be around the man for fear of what he might say in his anger.

He slowed down as he got closer to Penelope's office.

Derek stopped and stared at the door leading to her office. He stood there for a long time, his hand resting on the doorknob. He didn't know if he could go in.

For a normally brave man Derek knew he was acting very cowardly at the moment. But he just couldn't do it, not yet anyway.

Hotch had said he had till the end of the week, he'd come back before it was over.

…

Penelope sat at her desk, it was late on the Monday of her second week working for Straightforward Marketing and Penelope was itching to get back to her apartment. She had only just finished the list of things Angie said needed her attention, the one that she had given Penelope on her first day.

The woman hadn't been kidding when she told Penelope that the last tech had left them with barely any notice before leaving. The problems with the computers that needed to be fixed had been piling up since the last tech left and that had made Penelope's week quite stressful.

She guessed it was a good thing since she really hadn't had any time to dwell on her situation but it had left her so tired she wasn't even sure if she had the energy to make it back to her apartment.

Penelope groaned when she looked at the time displayed on her computer screen, it was almost eight pm; most of the people in the office had left hours before her. In fact she wouldn't be surprised if she was the last one there.

That's why when she heard a knock on her open, office door; she practically jumped out of her skin. Penelope looked up at the doorway and saw a woman who looked like she was in her early thirties with long black hair, dark skin and chocolate brown eyes.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you" the woman said sincerely.

"That's okay," Penelope replied "I just thought everyone else had gone home for the evening."

"I thought so too until I saw your light on," the woman said, then she took a step into the room "mind if I come in?"

"Of course not" Penelope said.

The woman grinned and started walking towards Penelope's desk "You're Carrie Marks right, the new tech?"

"That's me" Penelope said as cheerfully as she could.

"I'm Desiree Wells," the woman said, when she reached Penelope she held out her hand "I'm the director of sales, my office is down the hall."

"It's nice to meet you" Penelope said as she took her offered hand and gave it a firm shake before pulling away.

"You too," Desiree said with a smile "are you getting ready to head home?"

"Yeah I was," Penelope said "you?"

"Well I was packing up my stuff so that I could leave, when I realized I had to send an important email to one of our clients before I left. I just finished typing it out when I went to send and my computer just froze. I thought I was screwed and I'd have to reboot and start all over again but I thought I'd check and see if you had left first" Desiree finished off, she managed to look both apologetic and hopeful at the same time.

Penelope shook her head but smiled "I'm sure I could take a look at it before I go, see if we can get it working again."

Desiree looked ecstatic "Oh thank you!" she practically squealed with a bright grin "you don't know how much I appreciate it."

Penelope grinned back as she stood up "Don't worry about it, that's what I'm here for."

…

"Morgan," Hotch called coming out of his office Thursday morning when he saw Derek walk into the bullpen.

Derek, who had been heading to his office, stopped "Yeah?" he asked.

Hotch walked from his office, down the steps and into the bullpen until he was standing in front of Derek.

They were standing right next to Prentiss' desk. Both she and Reid, who were already at their desks, watched the scene curiously but discreetly.

"I was wondering if you'd gotten a chance to go by Garcia's office yet?" Hotch asked.

Derek's fists clenched and his body became rigid, "Yeah," he lied "but I haven't finished clearing it out."

"Really?" Hotch asked quietly "because the night janitor came by my office last night before I left and told me that everything looks untouched."

Derek growled "What? Now you've got the janitors keeping tabs on what I do and don't do?"

Hotch frowned "No," he said sternly "It's just that the office needs to be cleaned out by tomorrow and I'd just thought that maybe you'd changed your mind about doing it yourself. If you're not up to the task I can do it instead or get someone else from the team t…"

Derek cut him off "I said I'd do it!" he practically shouted before glaring at Hotch, turning away and heading for his office. Leaving everyone else, who had seen the scene, shocked.

Hotch ran a hand through his hair with a sigh. Normally he would never allow anyone to just yell at him and then walk away but he understood what Derek was going through.

It was hard to lose someone you really loved.

…

Later that day, when people had started packing up to go home, Derek again found himself outside of Penelope's office door.

He knew he had to go in and pack away her stuff but he still hadn't found the courage to do it.

Derek felt a hand land on his shoulder and he spun around, Reid and Prentiss were standing there.

Reid removed his hand from Derek shoulder; both he and Prentiss were carrying a cardboard box.

"We thought you might need a hand" Reid explained.

Derek frowned "I said I would…"

"Yeah we know, you said you would do it," Prentiss said, effectively shutting him up "but that doesn't mean you have to do it alone. Garcia was our friend too, after all."

Derek sighed; he knew they were right "Fine" he said reluctantly.

Derek looked away from them and all three of them grew silent. After a moment he wondered why they weren't making a move to go into Penelope's office, so he looked back at them and realized that they were waiting for him to make the first move. Waiting until he was ready.

Derek ran his hand over his head and then slowly reached out to open the door. His hand rested against the doorknob for a short moment before he let his hand press down and the door opened.

Derek took a deep breath before walking into the room, Prentiss and Reid followed him.

Derek stopped in the middle of the room, closed his eyes and breathed deeply. The smell of the perfume Penelope used to wear hit him, it's fruity, tangy, sweet smell that he always related with Penelope filled his nostrils and he sighed. For a moment he felt like the past three weeks had never happened, like he was just walking into Penelope's office to chat after a long case. He imagined he could hear the hum of her computers, and an image of her turning in her chair with a huge grin on her face filled his mind.

But the he opened his eyes.

The chair in front of him was empty and the computers were all shut off, leaving him staring at dark screens. Once again complete and utter loneliness, which he had been feeling all week, hit him squarely in the chest.

He took a painful breath and then turned around, looking at Reid and Prentiss "Where do you want to start?" he asked emotionlessly.

Reid glanced at Prentiss, a worried look etched across his face.

Prentiss seemed worried too but she covered it up quickly. She handed a box to Derek "How about we start with the things on her desk?"

Derek nodded stiffly and then turned away.

…

The three worked quietly for close to an hour, none of them wanted to interrupt the calm silence that had settled.

That was until Prentiss picked up a rainbow slinky that was inside one of Penelope's desk drawers and a wide grin spread across her face.

Reid looked up from the other side of the room, where he was going through a file cabinet, and caught her smile "What?" he asked quietly.

Prentiss looked over at him; she bit her lip and looked at Derek who had his back to them.

She took a moment and then decided to answer Reid's question, it was too quiet in the room, it was making her feel gloomy and Prentiss hated to feel gloomy in a room that was once filled with so much life, and so many happy memories.

"This," Prentiss said holding up the colorful slinky in her hand "is from a year ago. Remember the week that I was off work because I had to go to that family thing my mother had been planning for like a year and I promised I would be there?"

Reid nodded.

"Well when I got back to the BAU, you guys were just finishing up a case but you were in New York and would be back for a few hours. I was bored and didn't really feel liked going home yet so I came in here to see what Garcia was up to" Prentiss said with a smile as she remembered her friend giving her a giant hug after not seeing her for the week.

"We hung out in here for a bit and talked, while we were talking I picked up this slinky that was on her desk. That's when her eyes widened and I could tell she was thinking of something mischievous, probably something that Hotch would frown upon. But anyways, she grabbed another slinky from her desk before grabbing my hand and pulling me from the office. She brought me to the back stairwell."

Prentiss laughed and shook her head "Ignoring protocol, she suggested that since we were both bored and you guys wouldn't be back for a while that we should have a slinky race. Apparently it was something she used to do all the time when she was little with her friends. Garcia was sooo exited that I decided to heck with my better judgment and we raced the slinkies down the stairs for twenty minutes until we heard someone coming and raced back to her office instead."

Reid gaped "You two could have gotten into a lot of trouble. I can't believe you two would…" he trailed off with a shake of his head "you know what?" he asked with a smile "knowing Garcia I actually can believe that."

Prentiss grinned "I still have my slinky; it was a really fun day."

"I used to always come in her when I was having a rough day," Reid said "Garcia made this room such a bright place to be and she could always make me feel happier when she was around."

Prentiss smiled "That was Garcia for you, I never understood why she would want to work for such a gloomy place like the BAU, but I'm glad she did."

"How's it going in here?" they heard Rossi's voice from the doorway and turned to see Rossi, Hotch and JJ all standing there.

"Not bad" Reid said "Garcia had a lot of stuff."

"We were just…reminiscing" Prentiss said.

"Ah," Hotch said "there were a lot of good times with Garcia, weren't there?"

"Of course," Prentiss said "she made it a cheerful place to work."

Hotch laughed and walked farther into the room "She did indeed. I knew she was going to be unique from the very first moment I met her. She came in wearing a canary yellow dress, with streaks of hot pink in her hair, probably the only color the BAU had seen for a long time, and gave me her resume which was printed on homemade, pink stationary."

"That doesn't surprise me in the least," Rossi said, also walking in "she was a truly unique, ingenious, witty, tech kitten."

JJ grinned "Don't forget caring," she added "funny, lovable, giving…and do much more."

They were all in the office now. Rossi was leaning against a wall; JJ was a few feet away leaning against the door. Hotch was sitting on the end of the desk that was closest to the door, and both Reid and Prentiss were sitting on the floor. Derek still had his back to them, sitting in Penelope's chair, facing the computer screens.

"Do you remember that Christmas when we were all called into work because of a case in Boston?" Rossi asked.

"You mean when Garcia decorated the whole place in colorful Christmas lights, decorations and fake snow just to brighten up our spirits when we got back from the case?" Prentiss asked.

"That's the one," Rossi said grinning "it must have taken her hours to get all those lights up, I felt like I was walking into Santa's work shop when we got back."

They continued to share memories of their friend as they all pitched in to clear out the office.

…

It was about an hour later when Reid put Penelope's final things into one of the boxes. Everyone in the team, other than Derek, were in a considerably better mood, they were still chatting away.

"I'm going to miss her witty remarks whenever we called when we were on a case," Rossi said "I was always amazed at how she came up with some of those."

Most of the group laughed.

"I think I'm actually going to miss her calling me Honey" Hotch said with a laugh.

JJ laughed so hard at that, that she had to wipe tears from her eyes "Remember when you told Reid and I to remind you to have her drug tested?"

"What about that time that Pen had you and I come over Jayje?" Prentiss asked with a grin "She wanted to bake cookies for the New Year's party that Strauss was making us all attend."

"Oh gosh," JJ gasped "she was such a bad cook, we almost burnt the house down."

At that Derek stood up suddenly and everyone looked over at him. Without out saying a word he grabbed the box that he had finished filling and almost ran out the door.

"Derek!" JJ called, making to go after him.

She felt Rossi's hand land on her arm "Leave him," he said sadly "running after him now wouldn't help; he still needs time to heal."

JJ nodded, she knew he was right but she could help the helplessness that swept through her, she wondered if Derek would ever be the same.


	5. Tough Love

**Don't Own **

**Please R&R **

**Enjoy! **

…

"Carrie?"

Penelope looked up to see Desiree standing in her doorway and smiled "Hey" she replied.

"I was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch?" Desiree asked.

Penelope looked down at her clock and was startled to see that it was almost one o'clock. She had been so absorbed in her work that she hadn't noticed the time flying by.

Penelope looked back at Desiree and smiled. She had brought a homemade lunch with her to work that day but she thought it would be nice to get out and stretch her legs.

Plus Desiree seemed nice enough, and even though Penelope still missed her friends from Virginia, she knew she'd have to make friends sooner or later and Desiree seemed like a good place to start.

"Yeah sure," Penelope stated as she logged out of the system "where did you have in mind?"

Desiree beamed at her "Well I'm not too picky but Mandy from advertising recommended this Italian place that's two blocks away. She said the food there is amazing."

"That sounds good, I love Italian" Penelope said before she stood up, grabbed her coat and followed Desiree out the door.

…

Twenty minutes later found Penelope and Desiree sitting at a small but comfy booth at the Italian restaurant.

The waiter had just left after taking their orders.

Penelope sighed as she looked around "This place is really nice, is has a real authentic Italian vibe to it."

Desiree nodded in agreement, taking a sip from the iced tea she had ordered. "Yeah, let's just hope Mandy was right about the food."

Desiree played with the straw of her drink as she looked up at Penelope "I just wanted to thank you again for last night Carrie. I was able to get home to tuck my son in at a reasonable hour. He's going through a clingy stage and he wouldn't have gone to sleep until I had gotten there. If you hadn't of helped me I probably wouldn't have gotten home until eleven."

"As I told you last night it was no problem," Penelope said "I was happy to help, and it's nice to know that you were able to get home to your son because of it. How old is he?"

"He just turned two," Desiree said with a proud smile, she pulled out her phone to show Penelope a picture.

Penelope took the phone from her and looked down at the picture.

The little boy had a Chicago Cubs baseball cap on and was holding a small toy baseball bat. He had a wide smile on his face as he looked up at the camera.

"Aww, he's adorable Desiree," Penelope said handing the phone back "you're so lucky."

Desiree grinned "Thanks. What about you? Have any kids?"

"No," Penelope said with a sigh, knowing now would be the perfect time to interject the backstory Jenkins had gone over with her. "I always wanted children though, that's the main reason why my husband became my ex-husband."

Desiree's face fell and her eyes widened "Oh…I'm sorry Carrie, I didn't…"

Penelope cut her off with an apologetic smile "Don't worry about it Desiree, I'm over it."

Desiree looked at her, an unconvinced look etched across her features.

Penelope sighed "I mean I'm disappointed that I wasted six years of my life with the man but it does no good to dwell on it. And it's not like it's really a surprise for me, I think I always knew, somewhere deep down, that he would never want kids but I just kept waiting and hoping until I couldn't anymore. So now I've come here to start over."

Desiree gave her a tentative smile "It's good you have that kind of optimism, it shows how strong you are. I'm also glad you're here, hopefully I can be part of your new start?"

"Oh most definitely," Penelope said with a smirk "I could see us becoming good friends."

Desiree grinned back.

At that moment the waiter came over with their food.

Penelope had ordered chicken and asparagus fettuccine with garlic bread on the side, while Desiree had gotten spinach tomato tortellini.

Penelope took a bite of her pasta and almost groaned out loud as the flavors burst in her mouth. She swallowed her first bite and looked over at Desiree "I actually think this is the best fettuccine I've ever had. You'll have to thank Mandy for suggesting the place."

"I will," Desiree said taking a bite of her own pasta "This is delicious."

"So how long have you been with Straightforward Marketing?" Penelope asked.

"That depends," Desiree said, using her napkin to wipe away a bit of sauce that had landed on her chin.

"On what?" Penelope asked.

"If you mean the actual company or the one here in Chicago" Desiree explained.

Penelope still didn't understand exactly and she gave Desiree a questioning look.

Desiree laughed "What I meant was that I've been with Straightforward Marketing for ten years, just not the one here in Chicago. I used to work at the one in Detroit. I was only transferred to this one three weeks before you got here. So in a way I'm starting over too."

"Oh," Penelope said finally understanding "Why did you decide to move here?"

"Well," Desiree said with a thoughtful look "it's mostly to do with my mother. See I grew up here and both my mother and sister still live here. My mother has been complaining about how she barely ever gets to see her grandbaby, my son Jackson. So as soon as I heard that the Chicago office was looking for a director of sales I applied for a transfer."

"I see," Penelope said "I bet your mother is pleased about that."

"Oh yes she's ecstatic, she just loves Jackson," Desiree said happily "she watches him for me while I'm at work."

"What about your husband?" Penelope asked, hoping her questions weren't too personal, but she remembered Desiree mentioning something about her husband the night before, so Penelope hoped he wasn't out of the picture."

"He was just fine with the move," Desiree said, indicating to Penelope that she hadn't found the question intrusive. "He works for Detroit News, he has a column in their newspaper and they agreed to allow him to write it from here. He has to travel back once every few months but things have worked out pretty well for us."

"That's great," Penelope said "it's also a plus that your son is so young. It's always easier to move when children are younger rather than when they are older and attached to friends and such."

"That's what I was thinking," Desiree said "and I'm glad that Jackson now has a chance to grow up around his family, not just myself and Ian but his grandma, aunt and cousins."

When they had finished their food the waiter came back and asked if the wanted anything else.

Desiree looked down at her watch and let out a yelp "Oh gosh, it's almost two, we should be heading back."

"Already?" Penelope asked as she dug through her purse looking for her wallet "Time just flew by."

"I know," Desiree said taking out her own wallet "this was fun."

They both paid for their lunch and then quickly made their way back to the office, promising that they would do it again sometime.

…

JJ hurried out of her office and walked through the bullpen, "We've got a case" she said as she passed Prentiss and Reid's desk before hurrying up the stairs to Hotch's office.

Prentiss groaned before standing up "Just when I was thinking this would be a stress free day."

Reid also stood up "What gave you that inclination? There are always new cases coming in round the clock, the chances of this being a stress free day are considerably low judging by the statistics" he rambled on as they made their way to the conference room.

Prentiss turned to glare at him "Not helping" she muttered.

Reid blushed "Sorry," he said as he grabbed a seat next to her.

Prentiss rolled her eyes.

A few seconds later they were joined in the conference room by JJ, Hotch and Rossi.

"Where's Morgan?" Hotch asked.

Prentiss shrugged "I didn't see him yet today."

Hotch frowned "We'll have to start without him and brief him on the plane."

JJ nodded and pulled up an image on the projector "This is Nellie Cresson, her body was found this morning in an alleyway in Springfield, Ohio" she began.

…

Half way through the briefing, the door to the conference room flew open and Derek stumbled in.

"Sup?" he said looking at the team as he dropped his bag on top of the table.

Everyone stared at him in surprise.

He was dressed in the clothes that he had been wearing the day before, which were now wrinkled and looked like he had slept in them. He also smelled like booze and he had a cut above his eye. He was swaying where he stood.

Hotch stood up "Morgan, are you drunk?"

"Nahh…just tipsy" he slurred with a cocky grin. He was definitely drunk.

The team looked at Derek in shock.

"Morgan," Hotch ground out "I'd like to see you in my office, now."

"What?" Derek said loudly "you gonna yell at me, boss?"

"Morgan your behavior is unacceptable," Hotch said sternly.

"You know what…fuck you" Morgan said, making JJ gasp and the rest of the team look nervously between Hotch and Derek.

"Morgan" Hotch said warningly.

"No!" Derek yelled pulling his badge from around his neck and pulled his gun from his holster "fuck this shit, I quit!" he slammed both items down on the table.

Forgetting about his bag, Derek lurched around and then made his way back out the door.

The team was silent, they were all stunned.

Rossi cleared his throat as he stood up; he patted Hotch's shoulder and asked "Would it be okay if I sat this one out?"

Hotch turned to him and nodded stiffly, he added quietly "Make sure he gets home safely."

"Of course," Rossi said before wishing the team good luck, grabbing Derek's bag of the table and following him out the door.

…

After being directed by an agent on another team Rossi found Derek in the parking garage, the younger man was clumsily mounting his motorcycle. Rossi knew he couldn't allow Derek to drive in the state that he was in; he was amazed that Derek had even made it to the BAU in one piece that morning. Rossi quickly hurried over and easily snatched the keys from his friend.

Derek's head shot up and he looked over at Rossi "What the hell man?" he growled.

"There's no way I'm letting you drive in this state" Rossi explained.

Derek rolled his eyes and tried to grab the keys from Rossi, almost falling off his bike in the process.

Derek was able to steady himself before he hit the ground and then jumped of the bike "Give me my keys!"

Rossi shook his head "Not on your life, I'll drive you home myself."

Derek glared.

Rossi took out his own car keys and unlocked his SUV that was parked just a few feet away. He gestured to the vehicle "Get in" he said moving towards it.

Derek followed him but he made no attempt to get in the SUV, instead he made another grab attempt for his keys "I said give them to me Rossi!"

"And I said no," Rossi said, getting impatient "now get in."

"Fuck off," Derek growled "you can't make me."

Without a second thought Rossi shoved Derek hard, up against the side of the SUV. Derek slammed into the door and stared at Rossi in surprise.

"You're wearing on my last nerve Morgan, I said get in the car and I meant it. If you don't I'll physically make you."

Derek snorted and Rossi pushed him again, Derek fell back against the car for the second time.

"Don't push me Morgan" Rossi bit out.

Derek looked him over and even though he was still drunk he seemed to know Rossi wasn't kidding. So he held up his hands in defeat and moved to open the passenger side door, though he wasn't happy about it.

Rossi shook his head, straightened his shirt and moved to the driver's side. He let out a sigh before he opened his door and got in; it was going to be a long day.

…

"You don't have to come in" Derek said sourly, he really didn't want Rossi to come in but he didn't want to push the older man's buttons again by refusing to let him in.

Rossi shook his head "Sure I do, what kind of friend would I be if I didn't?" he said almost sarcastically.

Derek groaned but finally pushed open his front door and let Rossi in.

Derek didn't bother to take of his shoes, instead he walked into the kitchen and straight over to his fridge, he began pulling out a beer.

Rossi followed right behind him and picked the beer from his hand.

"Oh no man," Derek said getting angry "boss me around while we're at work but don't you dare come into my home and stop me from…"

Rossi cut him off "You need to sleep this off and then we have to talk. I want you to be clear headed and there's no way that's going to happen if you keep drinking."

"So you're telling me to go to bed?" Morgan asked outraged.

Rossi shrugged his shoulders "My guess is that you haven't been to sleep in twenty four hours, maybe more, and I'm also guessing you've been drinking all night. I can't make you go to bed but I can stop you from drinking and that's what I plan to do. So either you can sit around here with me until you sober up or you can get some sleep. I think you'd be wise to choose the latter, you need your rest."

Derek muttered something under his breath that Rossi didn't catch.

The older man arched an eyebrow at him "So, what's it gonna be?"

Derek took a moment and then growled "bed" under his breath; he quickly stalked away from Rossi, to his room.

Rossi watched him go, then he made himself comfortable on Derek's couch, he planned to wait until Derek woke up.

…

Rossi heard the sound of a door opening down the hall and looked up, he saw Derek slowly making his way towards him.

It was four in the afternoon and Rossi was bored out of his mind. He had watched a bit of TV, read a book he had found on one of the book shelves in Derek's living room and even tried to sleep for a bit himself. He really just wanted to get back to the BAU or his own place but he knew he had to talk to Derek first.

Derek groaned when he got to him "Rossi," he mumbled "damn my head feels like it's about to split open."

"You got any Advil?" Rossi asked.

Derek began to nod and then stopped with a groan; he walked into his kitchen and got a glass of water and a painkiller. When he came back he sat down next to Rossi on the couch.

"Please tell me that I didn't actually quit my job, and that was just some horrible dream" Derek said quietly.

Rossi shook his head "Wish I could Morgan."

Derek groaned again and placed his head in his hands "Man did I ever fuck up…"

"Yeah…you did" Rossi said.

Derek looked up at him "I'm sorry Rossi," he stated quietly "what I said to you, it was the alcohol talking…I shouldn't have…"

"It's alright Derek," Rossi said "we've all been though a rough few weeks, it's understandable."

Derek ran his hands over his face "I just don't get it."

"Get what?" Rossi asked.

"Why Penelope?" Derek asked, a hint of anger in his voice.

"There's no good answer to that" Rossi stated sadly.

Derek sighed "Out of all the people that something like that could have happened to…it's just so unfair. I wish it was me instead" Derek admitted.

Rossi moved closer to him "Derek you can't think like that, I know it's hard but don't go there."

"I just…I don't know how to live without her" Derek mumbled.

Rossi clasped his shoulder, his grip tight "Derek things don't make sense right now, and it's hard to move past this but you've got to try in order to get through it. Don't give up on yourself. Quitting your job and drinking yourself to death isn't the way to go about it. You need to come to terms with Penelope's death. It's hard but you'll make it through."

Derek looked at Rossi sadly "But how can I just move on without her? How can I go on knowing that I'm here and she's not? It's not fair. It's like if I move on I'd be betraying her."

"And you think she'd rather see you like this?" Rossi asked.

Derek gave him a dumbfounded look.

"Penelope would be rolling in her grave if she could see you now. You've given up and you know she'd be pissed about that. She'd also be sad to know that you'd stopped living your life because of her. Don't become a shadow of yourself Derek, live your life in honor of her memory."

Derek looked guilty "she would kick my ass if she saw me like this."

"That's a given" Rossi said.

They lapsed into silence for a while.

"You think Hotch will give me my job back?" Derek asked after a while.

Rossi grinned "I think that might be a possibility."

Derek sighed "Thanks," he said sincerely, looking at Rossi.

"Anytime" Rossi said patting his shoulder and standing up "you going to be okay now?"

Derek looked at his hands and then back up at Rossi "I think so."


	6. New Beginning

**Don't Own. **

**Please R&R **

**Got some new inspiration for this story, if I can keep that inspiration hopefully I can finish this story within a few months. Though I'm not making any promises because I'm awful at keeping deadlines. Seriously when I have set a deadline I seem to procrastinate even more. **

**Sorry for keeping you all waiting and thank you to those who have stuck with this story even though I haven't updated in almost a year. **

**Enjoy! **

…

Penelope was cleaning up the cluttered papers on her desk as she got ready to head home. Her attention was pulled away from the task when she heard a knock on her door.

"Come in!" She called, hoping that it wasn't someone with more computer troubles. She had promised Desiree that she would go out with her and some of the other girls from their company for a girls' night out and she didn't want to be late.

Desiree had invited her once before but Penelope had turned her down. The thought of a girls' night without Emily and JJ had her stomach twisting in knots.

However it had been over a month since Penelope had been relocated and she knew that if she was serious about trying to start a new life in Chicago and trying to make friends, then she couldn't turn Desiree down again.

So as hard as it was for her, when Desiree had asked two days before if she wanted to go out for drinks with a few of the girls from work that Friday, Penelope had said yes.

The door opened and Penelope was relieved to see Desiree standing there.

"Hey Carrie," Desiree said a bright smile on her face "You ready for tonight? The other girls are all ready and waiting in the lobby."

Penelope began to nod her head but then shook it instead.

Desiree frowned "Don't say you're backing out on me?"

"Oh no, it's not that," Penelope said "I'm still coming, I was just wondering if I could meet you guys at the bar? I need to run home and get a change of clothes." Penelope pointed to a yellowish stain on her blouse, where she had dripped mustard on her shirt that day at lunch.

Desiree looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling again "I'll drive you, we can tell Mandy, Jen and Georgina that we'll meet them there."

"I couldn't ask you to do that," Penelope said with a shake of her head.

"Don't worry about it," Desiree said "your place is on the way to the bar and it would be easier for me to drive my car there since the bar is only a few blocks away from my house, rather than leave it here and have to pick it up in the morning."

"You're sure?" Penelope asked, really not wanting to be a bother.

"Of course," Desiree said "plus you're the new one here, we wouldn't want you getting lost using transit."

Penelope laughed. She hated to admit it but having only taken the train once while she had been there she had hoped she'd never have to do it again. She had never really been one to take the train while she was in Virginia and the one in Chicago was super confusing, at least to her it was.

Penelope shut down her computer and followed Desiree out of the office.

…

Penelope stepped through the front door of her apartment and into the hallway, Desiree following behind her.

"It's a little plain," Penelope said "I haven't really had a chance to redecorate but it's quaint and welcoming and for now that's good enough for me."

Desiree looked around "I like it, it could use a dash of color for sure," she said as she looked at the plain walls "but other than that it's rather…cute."

Penelope laughed.

"I'm just going to get changed, I'll be out in ten minutes tops, feel free to make yourself comfortable while you wait."

Desiree nodded and Penelope went to enter her bedroom.

"Oh um Carrie," Desiree said before she could reach her bedroom door "would it be possible for me to check my email here?"

Penelope paled. She took a moment before she turned around "Actually…" she began and when she couldn't make up a believable lie on the spot, she said "I don't have a computer."

The animated surprised look Desiree gave her would have been laughable if it wasn't for Penelope's racing heart.

"A computer techy without a computer, that's unheard of" Desiree finally said.

"I used to have one," Penelope said thinking quickly "but it was in a suitcase of mine which the airline lost. I believe they're still looking for it but I haven't heard anything from them in a while and with work being so busy I haven't had any time to replace it."

"Oh," Desiree said and to Penelope's relief she seemed to believe her "I hope the airline reimburses you for whatever was in your suitcase if they're not able to find it."

"Hopefully," Penelope said "but I'm doubtful that they will. I'll have to send them an inquiry about it soon."

Desiree nodded "You should, and in the meantime we need to get you a new laptop."

"Yeah," Penelope said turning again to go into her room. She really had no intention of getting a new laptop. She had thought about it before but she had a good reason not to. She knew if she had a computer anywhere near her when she wasn't on her company's time that she would be too tempted to contact her team.

…

Penelope groaned into her pillow as she heard her cell phone ringing beside her. The night before had been fun, though if she was honest she would have to admit that maybe she had had just a little bit too much to drink.

Mandy, Jen and Georgina turned out to be pretty fun to hang out with. They accepted Penelope with no problem and within half an hour they were all laughing and joking like they had known each other for years.

At the end of the night she had thanked Desiree for inviting her and said she would love to do it again sometime soon, and she had meant it. Hanging out with them had really gotten Penelope out of her funk and even though it still hurt to think about the team and how much she missed them, she thought just maybe with friends like Desiree she could come to like living in Chicago.

Searching around in her blankets she finally located her phone and answered it with a groggy "Hello?"

"Oh no, I've woken you up haven't I?" she could hear Desiree's voice on the other end say.

Penelope sat up and rubbed her eyes "No, that's okay, I forgot to set my alarm last night so it's actually a good thing you called."

Desiree laughed "You sure about that?"

"Yeah," Penelope said as she slipped out of her bed, she had a headache and needed an Advil "so what's up?"

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go out shopping today?" Desiree said sounding excited "I can show you the best places to shop and we can get some stuff to add a bit of color to your apartment."

Penelope's fingers searched through her bathroom cabinets looking for the pain reliever "Yeah sure, sounds good" she said absentmindedly, not knowing just what she was signing herself up for.

"That's great." Desiree said happily "how about I meet you at your apartment at 12:00?"

"Sure," Penelope said "see you then."

…

Penelope stared down at the laptop in front of her. She knew she shouldn't have bought it but when Desiree had taken her to the Apple store she just couldn't refuse.

Now her fingers twitched with anticipation to do what they did best and Penelope was having a hard time stopping herself.

She shook her head "I can't do this," she told herself "certainly Jenkins would never allow it."

However even after trying to talk herself out of it her fingers were still itching to do it.

She knew that it was a bad idea, knew that nothing good could come from it. She knew if she did it she would just be opening herself up for more hurt, like picking at a scab that hadn't quite healed over.

And yet she knew that she couldn't not do it.

No matter how much it hurt she had to do it, she was too curious not to.

With that decision made she leaned over, her fingers flexing at the ready and hacked into the FBI's security system.

No longer was she inexperienced, she knew the FBI's system like the back of her hand, this time unlike those many years before she would not be caught.

With a few expert clicks the feed from the security cameras popped up on her screen.

Penelope's breath caught at the first person that caught her eye.

Derek was sitting at his desk, going over a file in his hand. He looked relatively the same though he did look a bit thinner.

Penelope felt tears well up in her eyes when she noticed the only things on his desk other than the papers and a coffee cup, were two picture frames.

One was the picture she had taken for him, but sitting beside that was a picture she had never seen before.

It was one of her and Derek. Arms entwined, smiling brightly out of the frame. By the looks of the background it had been taken at McNally's the pub across the street from the FBI. It looked like it was from a few years ago, possibly from the first year that they had met.

They looked so happy and Penelope found herself wiping a tear from her eye, she wondered if she would ever be that happy again.

Penelope had to pry her eyes away from the image of Derek. She moved her eyes to the break room and smiled when she saw Emily, JJ and Spencer talking together over coffee.

She wished that the camera also picked up sound so that she could hear what they were talking about, what she wouldn't give to hear their voices again, but sadly they only recorded video.

Penelope watched as Rossi walked over to pour himself a cup of coffee, he said something to the group which made them all laugh.

Penelope smiled at Rossi's little smirk that was plastered on his face as he walked back to his office.

Her eyes followed him all the way up to his office until he was behind the door and she couldn't see him anymore.

She looked for Hotch in his office but he wasn't there, which was kind of surprising to her. She checked the other cameras but still didn't see him.

There was only one last camera to check but Penelope feared bringing up that feed.

Finally she took a deep breath and typed in the code that would bring up her old office.

She bit her lip as she looked at a brown haired, mousy looking girl that was sitting in her old chair. The girl was tiny, she looked to be in her twenties, her hair was pulled up in a messy bun with brown eyes staring at the screens in front of her.

Penelope felt jealously rise up in her chest as she watched the girl sitting there where she herself should be, her family just a few steps away. Penelope felt guilty as she realized she was judging the girl, thinking that there was no way she could fill Penelope's shoes, no way that the team could value her as they had her.

Penelope shook her head and made herself log out of the feed.

She wasn't a hateful or jealous person and yet she found herself hating this girl she knew nothing about other than that she had replaced her.

Penelope felt tears run down her cheeks and once the water works started, she couldn't stop. She went to her bedroom and pulled a picture out of her sock drawer. It was one of the very few pictures that had been saved from the explosion. It was of her and the team from the Christmas party they had had the year before. They were all smiling at the camera. Rossi was wearing a Santa Hat. Reid was doing bunny ears on Emily. Hotch looked happier than they normally ever got to see him. JJ was leaning into Penelope, who was being held against Derek's side, her Hot Stuff wearing a goofy grin.

She lay down, clutched the picture to her chest and cried herself to sleep.


	7. Accident

**Don't Own. **

**Please R&R. **

**Sorry it's taken me so long to update, I wasn't sure where to go from the last chapter. So anyway this chapter isn't how I previously planned it to be but it wasn't getting written with the original plot. **

**Hopefully you all still enjoy it :) **

…

Penelope was so immersed in her work that she didn't hear the knock on her office door. She startled when Desiree placed a large pile of folders down on her desk with a thump.

"I did knock," Desiree said when Penelope looked up at her and frowned.

Penelope sighed "Oh..." she said "sorry."

"What's up with you?" Desiree asked "You've been moody all week."

"I..." Penelope began, kicking herself for letting it show "Sorry," she repeated "I guess I just kinda miss home."

Desiree's features softened "Well I know how that feels, even though I have friends and family here in Chicago, I still miss Detroit sometimes."

"Yeah," Penelope agreed softly, though she knew that Desiree would never really understand just how much she missed her home.

"You know what you need?" Desiree asked.

When Penelope didn't answer Desiree continued, not missing a beat "You need a fun night out with friends to cheer you up, so you know that even if you're far away from your family and friends back in Washington, you still have friends here too."

Penelope shook her head "I don't feel like going out Des."

Desiree looked thoughtful for a moment, "Well then we don't have to go out, we could go to your place, order pizza, rent a few chick flicks...it will be fun."

Penelope shrugged halfheartedly and Desiree swatted her arm. "Come on, cheer up and say yes!"

"Isn't your son still going through a clingy faze?" Penelope asked.

"Actually no," Desiree said "I don't know whether to be overjoyed or sad that he doesn't need me as much anymore but I won't be overly missed at home."

Penelope looked up at Desiree's hopeful face and signed, giving in "Okay," she finally said.

"Awesome," Desiree said "I'll come by your place after work, I'll just pick up some junk food and grab a movie or two, any preferences?" she asked.

"A comedy would be good," Penelope answered.

"Got it," Desiree said, then she patted the stack of folders "Alice asked me to give these to you..." she headed to the door "oooh I'm so excited, I'll see you tonight!"

Penelope watched her go, before running a tired hand over her face; she hadn't been the same since the day, a month ago when she had hacked into the FBI security system. It honestly felt like she was losing her family all over again when she couldn't pick up the phone and call them.

She had actually, when she had gotten to a really low moment later that night, walked down the street to where she had noticed a pay phone a few days before. She picked it up and dialed Derek's number almost blowing her cover. However she had come to her senses just after the second ring and hung up, but not before she had heard Derek's voice grunting out a "Morgan?"

She just wanted her family back but it was staring to sink in that she may honestly never see them again.

She had to credit Desiree for coming in here and trying to cheer her up, after she had snapped at Mandy the other day over lunch everyone seemed to be avoiding her, everyone except for Desiree.

It was kind of funny how much the woman reminded her of Derek. She could imagine him making up some excuse, like bringing her a stack of files that Penelope already knew she didn't have to enter into the system until the next week, and then demanding they go out and not taking no for an answer.

Penelope shook her head; it was going to be a long night.

...

Penelope picked up her cell when she heard it ringing "Hello?"

"Hey Carrie, I'm almost to your apartment. I have wine, a bag of Miss Vicky's sea salt and 'Bridesmaids', do we need anything else?"

"No, I don't think so," Penelope answered "I've got my own bottle of white and some Cheetos in the cupboard, I think we're all set..."

Penelope was cut off when she heard Desiree's distant voice call out "Cindy?"

"Who's Cin...?" she started to ask but stopped as she heard her friend's panicked voice continue to call out the other female name and then there was a revving of an engine.

Penelope had no idea what could be happening.

However the next moment she heard what sounded like a loud crash.

"Desiree?" Penelope called out thinking the worst "Des are you alright? Answer me."

But there was no reply.

...

Penelope was gasping for breath when she finally reached Desiree's hospital room. It had taken her over an hour to figure out what had happened and what hospital Desiree had been brought too. She had been left stupidly staring at her cell phone when the phone had gone dead and it took her a few minutes to get her butt into gear.

She had run to her bedroom and pulled out her laptop from the bottom drawer of her dresser where she had been keeping it so she wouldn't be as tempted to spy on the team again. It took her a few minutes to set it up, considering that she had left it unplugged and was unable to remember where she had put the charger.

When she finally found it, she was shaking with fear for her friend, she didn't want to lose any more people she really cared for. Her fingers were trembling so much that she had to stop herself. She took a deep breath, her eyes closing as she told herself not to panic. She wouldn't be any help to Desiree if she did that.

Once she had herself under control she hacked and searched the police radar for any calls that had come in, near her apartment, in the last twenty minutes that involved a car accident. She found one just a few blocks away where an incident had been reported about a white Hyundai Santa Fe running a red light and being t-boned by an oncoming driver.

The description on the vehicle matched Desiree's and Penelope was quick to figure out what had happened. A report said that the woman driving was found unconscious upon arrival and was currently being transported to West General Hospital.

The Hospital was only twenty minutes away, so Penelope hurried out the door, jumped in her car and made her way there as fast as she could.

When she had gotten there she had persuaded a nurse to give her Desiree's room information, she guessed after all the years she worked at the FBI, she had picked up a few skills.

Presently she found herself standing outside the glass doors of the hospital room. Desiree was lying unconscious on the bed, her head wrapped in a white bandage and her face swollen and bruised.

There was a woman sitting beside her bed, she had long brown hair and when she looked up and saw Penelope standing there, Penelope noticed her striking dark eyes.

The woman stood up and walked toward the door, she slid it open and stepped out, closing it softly behind her. She turned and looked at Penelope "Can I help you?"

"Sorry," Penelope said "I don't mean to intrude, I'm a friend of Desiree's, and I just wanted to make sure she was okay."

The woman frowned "How could you possibly have known? I just found out myself ten minutes ago, I was lucky to be close to the hospital when it happened."

Penelope sighed sadly "I was on the phone with her when it happened. I knew something bad had happened when I heard the sound of a crash and decided to check the closest hospital. It was just a lucky guess that I picked the right one."

"You were talking to her?" She asked "Do you know what happened. All the doctors could tell me was that she ran a red light and was hit by two different cars. They said they didn't know what had caused the accident."

Penelope ran a hand over her face "She was on her way to my place for a girl's night and had just called to ask if she needed to get anything else. I was in the middle of telling her she didn't when I heard her call out someone's name. She kept yelling for someone named Cindy, then the phone disconnected right after I heard the crash."

The woman's eyes had widened at the mention of the name Cindy but then she shook her head with a murmured "Couldn't be."

Penelope watched her in confusion "Sorry, I'm being rude," the woman said "my name is Sarah, I'm Desiree's sister, I'm sure she'd appreciate you coming by."

"I'm Carrie," Penelope said "your sister and I work together. How's she doing by the way?"

Penelope's gut clenched when she saw Sarah's eyes well up with tears. "The doctor's said that it's touch and go, she has a serious head injury that could go either way and the next twenty four hours will be critical."

Penelope's hand flew to her heart "God, I'm so sorry," she said feeling horrible "if only she hadn't been coming to see me..."

Sarah placed her hand on Penelope's arm, "Hey," she said shaking her head "Don't do that to yourself, this could have happened anywhere at any time, it's not your fault."

Penelope nodded though she still felt bad.

"Do you want to come in and wait with me?" Sarah asked

Penelope looked up at her, she wanted more than anything to come in but she shook her head "I don't want to impose," she said biting her lip.

"You wouldn't be imposing," Sarah said "honestly, it would be nice to have the company. I've called my mom but she didn't pick up, I'm waiting for her to call me back. And my brother doesn't live in the area so he won't be here for a few hours."

"Okay, thanks," Penelope said as Sarah held the door open for her, realizing that Sarah needed the company just as much as she did at the moment.

They each took a seat on either side of Desiree and chatted quietly.

...

A few hours later a very frazzled looking red headed woman practically ran into the room. Tears rolled down her cheeks as Sarah stood up and embraced the woman in a hug.

"I got your message and came as soon as I could," the woman said "God, I can't believe this is happening."

Sarah rubbed her mother's back as she too began to cry again.

Penelope stood up quietly, shooting Sarah a look she stepped out of the room, she wanted to give them their privacy.

She walked down the hall but not wanting to go home she decided she would go pick up some coffee for Desiree's family because she knew it would be a long night for them.


	8. Reunited

**Don't Own. **

**Please R&R. **

**I was overjoyed to see so many of you have stuck with this story. Here's the next chapter ahead of schedule to thank all of you that reviewed, even though it had been a year since I posted Chapter 6. **

**Enjoy! **

…

Penelope's heels clicked in the quiet hospital. It was almost three in the morning and no one seemed to be around other than a few nurses here and there.

Her being able to stay overnight was a testament to how bad Desiree's condition was, visiting hours were normally from 11:00 am to 5:00pm but the hospital made exceptions for those with very ill family members.

Penelope just prayed that Desiree would make it. Penelope had seen too many deaths in her lifetime and she didn't want Desiree to be one of them. She was too young and too nice and had too much to live for, as the case always seemed to be.

Penelope sighed and looked down at the tray of coffees she was carrying. She had gone to the first local coffee shop she had seen open and ordered three medium drips. She had no idea what to get for the other two woman but had brought lots of sugar, milk and cream with her, hoping it would be alright.

Her thoughts turned to Derek and how he liked his coffee black, she didn't know many people who could drink coffee black like him but when it came to times like these, taste normally didn't matter too much.

Penelope remembered sitting at the dining room table right after her parents had died. She had been surrounded by family, all encouraging her to eat something. She had finished what was on her plate just to make their nagging stop but the food had tasted like sawdust to her, she had been too depressed to actually taste the flavors.

She came to a halt when she saw Sarah pacing in the hall outside her sister's room, with her cellphone pressed to her ear.

Penelope stayed where she was, waiting for Sarah to finish her conversation.

After a few minutes of Penelope awkwardly waiting to the side, Sarah's hand dropped from her ear as she placed her cell into her pocket. She looked up and saw Penelope waiting there. A small but brief smile passed her lips "I wondered if you we're coming back."

Pushing herself from the wall Penelope walked over "Yeah, I didn't want to go home yet, at least not until we know..." Penelope saw the look of sadness cross Sarah's face and quickly changed the subject "I thought maybe you and your mom could use a cup of coffee."

Sarah's eyes brightened a bit as her they flicked to the coffees "Thank you," she said quietly and reached out to take a cup.

"No problem," Penelope responded "they're nothing fancy, I wasn't sure what to get, sorry I should have asked before I left."

"No, don't worry about it, I like my coffee black anyway," Sarah explained.

"Oh," Penelope said surprised but then smiled "that's good. What about your mom, I don't suppose I'd be so lucky for her to be the same way?"

"Actually my mom went home," Sarah said "you just missed her. My brother got here about twenty minutes ago and insisted that she go home and get some sleep. The hospital is only about five minutes away from her apartment so my brother promised to call her if there was any news."

Penelope nodded "Well..." She said "does your brother like coffee?"

"You're in luck," Sarah said "my brother loves coffee, and he especially loves black coffee."

Penelope snorted as she tried to hold in her laugh.

"He's inside with Desiree," Sarah said "I just need to make another call but I'll be right in."

Penelope nodded and turned to go inside. She stepped towards the door and pushed it open softly but who she saw inside made her drop the coffee she had in her hand.

It splattered on the floor, splashes of it burning the exposed skin of her feet. The man by Desiree's bed looked up and his eyes widened in disbelief.

Penelope's heart pounded heavily in her chest for a few seconds before she turned tail and ran the way she had come moments earlier, ignoring Sarah's worried shouts of "Carrie!"

She ran as fast as she could but had to stop as she turned a corner, her heels were slowing her down. She had to pull them off quickly. Then with them clenched tight in her fist she continued down the hall. She pushed herself faster as she heard loud footfalls behind her.

She couldn't allow Derek to catch her. God Derek...she couldn't believe it. How could she possibly have not known that Desiree was Derek sister? Hadn't he talked to her about his sisters before? She must have not been listening very well, though she couldn't imagine that she always listened to Derek when he talked.

Her breathing was heavy as she turned the next corner, sliding slightly at the pace she was going. A voice inside her head screamed 'Why are you running?! Isn't this what you have been dreaming of for the last few months, wishing Derek would come rescue you?'

However she didn't listen to the voice as another part of her was bringing up the argument that officer Baker had put in her head. 'What if the team is endangered because of you? What would you do if something happened to them because of you?'

Penelope could see the hospital doors in front of her. If she could just make it a few more feet she could get in her car and drive away, then Derek would be safe. By the time they found out where she lived now she would be long gone...

That plan, even in her head seemed silly and flawed, but at the moment it was all she could think of to keep her team safe.

However just as her fingers closed around the door handle she felt a hand grab onto her elbow and pull her back. She stumbled and fell forwards but before she could hit the floor protective arms were encircling her waist and pulling her against a strong chest.

Penelope glanced up at Derek's face, his breathing was heavy and his eyes were intense.

She had to look away, her head turned down and she faced the floor.

The seconds ticked by before Derek breathed out a quiet "Penelope?"

She didn't answer, truthfully she felt ashamed for running. Had she really expected to outrun a man who made his living chasing down unsubs? Plus if she had to admit it, she was scared to look at him, scared that if she did, she would find that it was all a dream.

She felt soft fingers under her chin, slowly pulling her face up to his so he could look at her.

When her eyes finally met his she was surprised to see tears in his. She had seldom seen Derek cry, she could count the number on one hand.

"Penelope..." He whispered again, his eyes searched hers.

"Derek," she answered looking him straight in the eye.

"It is you..." He breathed out "God Penelope, how can this be. You died..."

Penelope opened her mouth to explain, to try and explain away the hurt and confusion she saw in her best friend's eyes but she didn't get the chance. One second Derek was staring at her from a few feet away, the next he had closed the distance between them and their lips met in a slow, soft caress.

Penelope made a startled noise but Derek didn't stop, instead he deepened the kiss, his tongue sneaking into her mouth as he pushed her against the nearest wall.

His hands threaded into her hair and she gasped as his tongue flicked over hers. Her hands moved to push him away but ended up splaying against his chest instead.

Her eyes, which had fallen closed when he had begun to kiss her, snapped open and she let out a small squeal as she felt Derek shift his weight and allow one of his legs to slip in between hers.

This was really going too far, they were standing at the entrance to a hospital for goodness sake, but Penelope found she just didn't have the strength to push him away.

"What is going on here?!" Sarah's voice demanded from their side. Penelope couldn't see her but she could imagine the look on her face. She tried to pull away from Derek but he wasn't budging. He continued on like he hadn't heard a word his sister had said.

Maybe he hadn't either, if the look of determination on his face was anything to go by.

"Derek!" Sarah practically yelled and he let out a groan, pulling away reluctantly.

"Finally," Sarah said annoyed "now will someone please explain to me what is going on here?"


	9. Explanations

**Don't Own. **

**Enjoy! **

…

Penelope's cheeks were a flaming red when Derek pulled away from her. However he didn't go far, he stepped away but his arm wrapped around her waist instead.

She felt embarrassed by his action with his sister standing right there, her arms crossed over her chest but it seemed as though Derek was unwilling to let go of her.

Penelope guessed she could understand that. If she saw someone she loved who she thought had died, she would probably grab onto them and never want to let go.

So instead of pulling away from his hold and composing herself in front of Sarah like she wanted to do, she allowed Derek's arm to rest across her hip and ended up giving Sarah a sheepish look.

Sarah's eyes narrowed "So I take it you know my brother." Her voice was cold and Penelope felt even more embarrassed, which she hadn't known was possible.

Derek's arm tightened around Penelope's waist "Don't speak to Penelope like that," Penelope was surprised by the venom in his voice.

It seemed as though Sarah was too as she studied her brother with a look of surprise. She glanced between the two of them and then pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay I'm sorry, that was rude, I was thinking you were another one of Derek's floozies but I should have known you weren't considering how nice you were earlier. I'm just stressed."

Penelope shook her head "Don't worry about it; it's been a long, hard night."

Sarah nodded "Just one thing, I thought your name was Carrie?"

"Carrie?" Derek asked turning to face Penelope, he shook his head and leaned in to press a soft kiss to Penelope's lips "No way, that's not nearly beautiful enough for my Baby Girl," he whispered quietly.

Sarah's eyes widened in recognition at the nickname "Baby Girl? As in Derek's Baby Girl? The same Baby Girl he talks about all the time when he's home?"

Penelope felt her cheeks, which had just started to return to normal, heat up again.

Derek leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead "The very same," he whispered, his voice full of emotion.

Sarah frowned as she looked between them "What exactly am I missing here?"

Penelope sighed "It's a long story, maybe we should head back to Desiree's room while I explain?"

An ashamed look crossed Derek's face as he realized he had forgotten all about his younger sister in the last few minutes. He pulled Penelope closer to him as they walked back to her room. Penelope began to explain everything that had happened while they walked.

...

"So yeah," Penelope finished off, they were now standing just outside of Desiree's room "They got me a job a Straight Forward Marketing and that's when I met Desiree at work. She's been a really good friend to me for the last few months," Penelope looked sadly in at her prone form and sighed, "the reason she was coming over tonight was because I was feeling down and she was trying to cheer me up."

She turned to the other two as she felt Derek squeeze her hand "I'm so sorry Baby Girl," he whispered.

Sarah looked shocked "Wow, and I thought my life was stressful."

"Yeah," Penelope said shaking her head "these last few months definitely have not been easy."

A pained look crossed Derek's face "I should have been there for you," his voice was full of self-loathing "if I had known..."

Penelope didn't let him finish, she stepped forward and cupped her best friend's face "But you didn't know, there's no way you could have," the pad of her thumb ran over his cheek soothingly as she noticed the wetness in his eyes "don't blame yourself Derek."

Sarah, sensing that they needed a moment, stepped to the side "I need to make a few calls, why don't you guys go in and sit with Des?"

Penelope nodded "That sounds like a good idea," she sent Sarah a thankful look before letting her hand fall from Derek's face and grasp his own instead "come on Hot Stuff."

Derek followed her in without a word.

The moment they were inside and Derek saw Sarah, through the glass doors, walk around the corner he wrapped his arms around Penelope from behind and pulled her against his chest. She let out a small squeal at the quick movement but didn't say anything further. She just allowed Derek to hold her, being able to feel his need to do so.

"God Baby," Derek breathed out, his hot breath fanning against the exposed skin of her neck "these last few months have been hell without you."

She tried to push away the jittery feeling his actions gave her, and instead focused her attention on him. Despite the tight hold he had on her, she managed to turn in his arms and look up into his face. He looked so lost it caused Penelope's heart to ache for him. Her own arms slid around his waist and hugged him tight. She rested her head against his chest and just waited until he was ready to talk.

They stood there silently for a long time.

The moment was broken though when a yawn escaped from Penelope. She had tried to hold it in but she couldn't help it. Not only had she been up since early the day before, she also hadn't been sleeping very well the last few weeks. With all the stress of the accident, she found it was finally hitting her all at once.

Derek pulled back without letting her go, he searched her eyes and saw redness there. "You must be exhausted," he said "it's been a long night. When's the last time you slept?"

Penelope shook her head "Don't worry about it Derek, I'm fine."

Derek wasn't convinced. He pulled away from her before grabbing her hand and pulling her over to a couch that was next to the wall. He sat down and then dragged her down beside him "Lay down," he commanded.

Penelope's eyes shot to Desiree's prone form lying on the bed but Derek caught her chin between his fingers and gently brought her face back to his. "Don't worry about Des, if she was awake she would understand, and Sarah's not going to be back for a while. Just relax, place your head here on my lap and get comfortable. Pretend we're back at my place having another movie night, if that helps. It's going to be a long night and you need your sleep."

Penelope bit her lip but then slowly did as he asked. With his encouragement, she let herself lean into him and placed her head in his lap, pulling her feet up onto the couch as well.

His fingers gently began stroking through her hair and Penelope found her eyelids getting heavy. His presence was a huge comfort to her, one she hadn't realized just how much she had missed. She let out a contented sigh and fell asleep listening to the comforting sounds of Derek's deep breathing.


	10. Chapter 10

**Don't Own. **

**Enjoy! **

…

Penelope frowned against the surface she was lying on as she woke up. She couldn't remember where she was or why she felt so still. She also wasn't sure what had woken her, something felt off and it had jolted her awake but she didn't know what it was.

She pushed herself up and looked around the dark room. There was a constant beeping nearby that she knew she should recognize but couldn't place.

She whipped around when she felt something brush up against her, and found Derek's stiff arm twitching by his side. It all came back to Penelope then as she stared at Derek, she could have sworn the night before had just been a dream but she was glad to find out she was wrong.

However when she noticed the look of pain on Derek's face, she instantly was on alert again. She realized that he must be having a nightmare, and moved closer to him. She ran a hand over Derek arm and calmly called his name.

His reaction to her voice was instant. His eyes flew open, his hand grabbed her wrist painfully and her name fell from his lips with urgency. His breathing was heavy as he stared at her in the dark, slowly coming back to reality.

"Derek…" Penelope mumbled and watched as his eyes searched her face "you're hurting me."

Derek ripped his hand away from her wrist as if he had been stung. "God Baby, I'm sorry," he said shaking his head "I never would have…I didn't mean to."

He looked down at his hands in disgust.

"Hey," Penelope said sternly, she didn't want Derek blaming himself for something he had done in his sleep "I'm fine, don't worry about it." She ran a hand over his cheek and made him look up at her "Are you okay?"

Derek sighed and gently took her hands in his, his fingers slowly and soothingly running over her right wrist to sooth away her pain.

Penelope tilted her head to the side and prompted him to say what was on his mind "Tell me."

"I…I dreamed I lost you all over again," he said his voice hallow.

Penelope squeezed his hands "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

Derek didn't look convinced, in fact the look on his face betrayed the uncertainty he felt, it broke Penelope's heart. She had never seen him this way before.

Instinctually, she leaned forward and for the first time initiated a kiss with him. The whole idea of kissing him was new to her. Well that wasn't exactly true. She'd dreamed about kissing Derek more times than she was willing to admit, back when she was in Quantico, but dreaming about kissing him and actually kissing him was different territory entirely.

However Derek didn't hesitate, he'd accepted her kiss and captured her lips within seconds. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him tightly, groaning into the kiss.

Penelope squirmed against him in response, trying to get as close as she possibly could. She felt like her whole body was on fire, but she needed more.

"Whoa…" a voice said from behind them, causing them to hastily pull apart "how long have I been out?"

"Des!" Penelope almost yelled before scrambling to get off Derek and run over to her friend.

Desiree chuckled "Normally it wouldn't be that much of a surprise to see my brother kissing one of my friends, it's happened quite often in the past, but I didn't realize you were the type of girl to fall for his charms Carrie."

Penelope began to blush again "Uh yeah…" she said "it's not quite that simple, but you're awake! We were worried you weren't going to make it."

Desiree smiled at Penelope "You can't get rid of me that easy."

"Desiree," Derek said coming over to the other side of the bed "I'm glad you're awake." He leaned down and gave her a hug. "What were you doing chasing that guy though?"

"Derek," Desiree said, her eyes widening "It was Cindy! I saw her; she was in the passenger's seat. It was her I swear."

Derek shook his head "Des, that's not possible. Cindy is dead."

Desiree looked frustrated "No Derek, it was her. We made eye contact and when I called out to her, she mouthed 'help me!' Why would she do that if it wasn't her?"

Derek's face fell and Penelope frowned. She wanted to reach across the bed for his hand and ask him what was wrong but stopped herself; she was already embarrassed about Desiree catching her making out with him.

"Give me a second," Derek said and he moved around the bed, he was headed for the door but stopped before he got to it. He turned back to them and looked at her "Penelope…" He began, his hesitation showing just how torn he was about leaving her.

"I'll be right here Derek," Penelope said "talking to your sister who undoubtedly has many questions for me now."

Derek walked back to her anyways. He took her in her arms and kissed her heatedly before pulling away. "I'll just be right outside, don't go anywhere."

"I won't," Penelope promised.

Derek nodded and finally moved away. Penelope watched him as he strode out the door. She turned back to a shocked Desiree, who was staring at her I confusion "Penelope?" she finally questioned.

…

It was twenty minutes before Derek came back. He stepped through the door with a grim look, and walked over to them slowly.

Penelope, who had finished telling Desiree everything, turned to him when she heard his footsteps. She gasped when she saw his face and hurried over to him. Her fingers gently ran across his swollen cheek as her eyes searched his "What happened?" she asked.

Derek shook his head as his gaze moved over to Desiree and then back to her "It's not important."

Penelope frowned but she didn't question him further. Her hand fell away from his cheek but Derek caught it before she could move away completely. He brought it up to his lips and placed a soft kiss on her palm. The look he gave her promised her an explanation later.

Penelope smiled at him before turning back to Desiree, who was pushing herself up in her bed.

She smirked at her older brother and friend "You do have him under your charm don't you Ca…Penelope?"

Penelope bit her lip while Derek chuckled beside her; he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close before sobering up. "I called my team Des, they're going to be here in a few hours and then we will start our investigation into Cindy. I hope you were right."

"I know I am Derek…" Desiree began before a concerned look crossed her face "Penelope are you okay?"

Derek instantly turned to her, fearing that something was wrong "Penelope?" he questioned.

She'd become very pale and was starting to sweat. She would have thought she would be happy to hear the news that she was going to see the team again. It was the thing she had constantly wished for, for the last few months but Derek's announcement had caused the same emotions from the night before when she had first seen Derek, to hit her.

She was worried about the team's safety, knowing that she was alive, and just the thought of seeing them again was making her uncomfortably nervous.

She remembered the hate that Spencer had directed at JJ when Emily first returned and wondered if any of her teammates would be mad that she hadn't tried to contact them. She had been under direct orders not to for their safety but they were the best BAU team there was, maybe they would be angry at her for not trusting in them to protect her.

"Penelope?" Derek questioned again, his arm had moved from around her waist and he was now holding her by her shoulders as he tried to get her to respond. He was looking her in the eyes, searching for the truth.

Penelope started hyperventilating and Derek led her over to the couch, making her sit down.

"What should I do?" Penelope heard Desiree ask but Derek shook his head at his sister before crouching down in front of Penelope.

"Baby Girl," he said soothingly, resting his hand on her knee "just calm down, everything is going to be okay. You just need to breath slowly, come on…that's it."

Derek coached her through her breathing and when she had finally calmed down, smiled at her "See," he whispered "you're fine. Now why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

Penelope swallowed before quietly breathing out "It's stupid."

Derek shook his head "I'm sure it's not, don't worry about that."

Penelope rubbed at her eyes with her palms "I'm not ready to see the team yet. What if…what if they're mad at me?"

Derek squeezed her thigh "Believe me Baby, they're not going to be mad. They'll be anything but, knowing that you're alive. Trust me."

Penelope bit her lip, looking up into his eyes "But I…"

Derek placed both his hands on Penelope's knees "There are no buts Penelope. The team will be mad about what happened to you, but never at you directly. They love you, and they'll just be so relieved to know you're okay, like I was."

Penelope took a deep breath trying to calm her nerves "I'm sorry," she said "I told you it was stupid."

"Hey, don't do that," Derek said "there's nothing for you to be sorry for."

Penelope sighed and allowed Derek to embrace her. She was scared but she wanted to see her family too. She had missed them.


End file.
